Crow vs. Seagull

I was walking home from work the other day (true story), when high above me, I hear “Caa, ca Caa! CAAAA!” Up go my eyes, and what do I see? A crow, chasing down a seagull.

Now I hate crows, so from the get-go, I was team-seagull. Not that I love seagulls… I guess they’re the lesser of two evils. I watched for a good minute before they flew beyond my sight. My vision is getting worse by the way. I just ordered some Warby Parker glasses. Did the home try-on thing twice, and I think I found a winner. I digress…

As I continued with my journey home, I kept thinking of that damn crow. What did that seagull do to piss off the crow? I couldn’t come up with anything logical, so I thought that this could be a great opportunity for a Pixar movie. Crow vs. SeagullSeagull vs. CrowCrowmageddon…A Birds Life… the title isn’t the important thing right now, there’s plenty of catchy options. What’s important is that the crow is voiced by Russell Crowe and the seagull by Steven Seagal… that’s the formula for an Oscar. Plus, Russell Crowe has a bit of a temper issue, so he’s perfect for the role of the crow… practically born for it.

I Believe I Can Expensify

A poem, inspired by R Kelly and my daily interactions with Expensify.

I used to think that I could not go on. And life was nothing but an awful song.

But now I know the meaning of true love. I’m leaning on the everlasting arms.

If I can see it, then I can do it.

If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it.

I believe I can fly. I believe I can Expensify.

I think about my expenses carefully,

I categorize them all accordingly.

I believe I can soar.

For any meal over $75 I make sure to include who was in attendance, fo sure.

I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. I believe I can Expensify.

I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down.

Receiving multiple reports from the same a12s within the same processing period made me frown.

So I created this original poem, all on my own.

With subtle hidden tips, until I find my Expensify clone.

If I can see it, then I can be it.

If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it.

I believe I can fly, I believe I can Expensify.

I keep in mind that Automattic is not yet Google,

So I always remember to be frugal.

I believe I can soar,

Keeping Dopeld happy is at the center of my core.

I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. I believe I can Expensify.